- learn more and accomplish more musically
- get my license
- treat my body better
- time manage better
- take writing and blogging seriously
- decide major and colleges
- do well on acts -30 or higher- and Sats
- read at least 30 books
Mary
It’s 1:07 am on June 19.
This is Chat #2. Reprise of Chat #1 .
A thought that always comes about at this hour is the idea of comparativeness. Since I really should be sleeping, like my family is doing, I am alone. With solitude comes silence, a thing very easily broken . When you’re alone you become really aware of the sound you make. Usually in the context of dropping something loud or ‘When did all the appliances in this bathroom get so loud?’ Compared to the silence of the dozing house the staple sounds of your existence are giantesque. There’s something about that that is really pretty.
This thought on comparison also is applied to actual living hours as I’ve noticed. Major examples of this are people and insecurities. Insecurities, in my experience feel like these huge things. It feels like if I had noticed this thing, everyone else must have also. They are all hung up over that fact, just as I am, and think less of me because of it. Every single person. I’m speaking grand scale, everyone hates me.
They don’t.
That teeny little imperfection is that creak in the floor at midnight. In the small space we have, our own brainspace, that one thing is the equivalent of a personal tornado siren. But set to scale of what is actually going on in life,the loudness and weight of life and reality, that imperfection is still the creak of the floor. The creak would never actually be noticed, except for by the stillness of night, the stillness of your consciousness. Don’t stress too much about insecurities, you’re fine darling.
Yours, Mary
"The axe forgets; the tree remembers.
